Three Stooges

I am so not a girly girl, and do not like anything about Valentines Day. I hate the pink, the red, the flowers - hate it all. But the day always get's me to thinking about what jems I could have ended up spending this day with, and I feel a whole lot better about being single. Here are some of my favorites:


1. Z: doctor in training who believed that just because he knew what to do in the ER meant he knew about every other thing in the world as well. He was nice enough, but it's not ok to act like you're smarter or know more than me. One morning after a fight I woke up to find chocolate and cash sitting on my front table. I'm still not too sure what his angle was...to say "thanks for coming out, it was fun, but i'm cashing out," or "you're so pretty and skinny you deserve candy and money."

2. Ex-Con: yes you read that correctly. After dating for a couple weeks, I came to find out that he had recently been released into his parents custody after spending 4 years in prison. In my defense, I met him in a bar in Newport and did not expect to wake up one day to him talking to his parole officer. When he posted up at my house for a couple days I became extremely concerned for my safety, and sought advice from my BFF to move him out. Thankfully he responded positively when I told him I wasn't coming home due to the fact that she was having boy problems and I was "dead serious," he had to leave while I was going through this difficult time with her.

3. Diamond: one of my best friends, turned into, "let's sleep together...let's date...and let's pretend I'm totally into you." So what I thought was a good meaningful relationship given our past history and great chemistry, was a shammy sham sham. Somehow I was blind to the fact that he began to see his ex on the side & was a lying liar who lies. If that wasn't bad enough, he moved in with her - and then for some reason I believed it would be ok to have a full out prime time affair with him. I'm not kidding, hotel rooms during the day, him making up excuses as to why he couldn't come home...blah blah blah. But not to worry, after a couple of beers he likes to drive to my house in the middle of the night to try and make out with me...and ask how I would feel about attending his nuptuals. Valentines day I received a text from him saying "I love you Christi" followed up by another, "I'm not wasted." FAIL FAIL FAIL

I swear, my collective dating pool reads like the who's who of assholes.