i got 5 on it (or not)

Imagine this: You’re on vaca in San Diego with your BFF”S, have an outstanding room at the W, have enjoyed a night of hob-knobbing on the rooftop bar, and wake up to your roomie announcing it was time to wake-n-bake. So far, so good with regard to the fun-o-meter.

At this point, you venture outside of the hotel and have actually managed to navigate your way to a diner where you and your peeps have filled yourself to the brim with a breakfast that could feed a small country.

Now in your state of well being, you start to slowly stroll back to the hotel, enjoying your surroundings. Clear sky, bright sun, window shopping, etc. You couldn’t be more content if you tried!

But then…you hear an odd noise behind you. It sounds like some kind of slapping and words are mumbled, but the noise gets louder and curiosity peaks. You turn around and there is your friend, in a slapping altercation with some random woman!

She is dirty and her clothes are disheveled, clearly a homeless person, and she is grabbing at your friend while he is fending her off with multiple hitting methods. OMG, WTF?! Everyone on the street was staring in disbelief – were we all really witnessing this random act of violent homeless aggression!? She was lunging, displaying the face of a man who was about to go into battle, and shouting, “Give me cash, give me cash!” When that didn’t work, she belted out, in her best warrior voice, “Give me cash – I MEAN IT!” Apparently she thought if she really meant it, it would make a difference and someone would hand over their wallet. Not so much. Then in the blink of an eye, she ran away, just as quickly as she appeared, realizing that no one had five on it. We all resumed our walk home in confusion and laughter, taking turns recounting the story in utter amusement. SD homeless – 0, Us – 1.

Pictured below, Choo, the victim: